The Practice Of Calmness

Mistakes and pressure are inevitable. The secret to getting past them is to stay calm – Travis Bradberry

Practice Makes Permanent

What we practice over time is cemented in our lives. This is how habits are formed. To increase our ability to stay calm, we must inject practices that will produce the results we are looking for. In the previous blog posts, we have learned that calmness is more than sitting, being passive, or accepting things as they are. Instead, it is an active path to becoming more reliable and making effective decisions in the heat of the moment. Drawing from the well of calmness always serves us well when the conditions around us call for us to react in a toxic and hurtful way to those around us. How can we practice calmness?

Focus on Reflection

Leadership expert Dr. John C. Maxwell says, “Reflective thinking allows me to process the events in my life and improve myself afterward.” To make reflection a consistent habit and gain its benefits, we must actively practice it. In his book, *The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth* Maxwell shares four key ingredients for creating a reflection routine: Investigate, Incubate, Illuminate, and Illustrate. I believe these components guide us to establish new patterns of thought and action that lead to growth and help us develop calmness. Ignoring this practice can result in continuous cycles of repeating the same thought patterns, making the same decisions, and experiencing the same disappointing outcomes—or quitting when things become challenging and reacting in tough times. Reflection calls us to pause and process and makes us better people. 

Watch Your Self Talk

Author Susan David stresses that “navigating our inner world – our everyday thoughts, emotions, and stories – is the single most determinant of success.” How we handle these inner controls is critical when we are under pressure. A more significant portion of handling stress involves controlling the temperature of our inner world with the thermostat of sober thinking, composed emotions, and wholesome self-talk. This is where true success in life begins when adversity is at the door of your progress. Your self-talk adds light or darkness to your life, depending on your chosen words. Positive words are like natural light on a bright sunny day, while negative ones can be compared with an enclosed dark tunnel. Don’t sell yourself short by making statements that start with, “I can never get past _________.” Or I will never _________. This negative self-talk in the face of adversity can nail us to the wall of inaction and hinder our progress. We end up in the dungeon of self-pity and project it on others. Here is the good news. Adversity is not your breaking point; it is your breakthrough point! Instead, change your language to “I am resilient, and this adversity will improve me as I go through it. I will discover a better version of myself who will be of greater value than before.” This kind of talk increases your ability to stay calm and makes you an agent of change or a thermostat. 

Your self-talk adds light or darkness to your life, depending on your chosen words.

Be A Thermostat

While thermometers read the current temperature, thermostats possess a mechanism to change the temperature in a space. Sometimes, a smile can relieve tension at home, work, or the supermarket. Eliud Kipchoge, the legendary marathon runner and current world record holder, once said that smiling while running helped him remain calm and relaxed amid the tension building in his muscles as the race wore on. It also helped maintain efficiency throughout the run. Upon hearing this, I applied it and realized the untapped power of smiling to run better. How often do you smile? It’s a thermostat setting that can instantly change the mood in a particular space. Go ahead and infect someone with your smile. It just might be the path to bringing calm where you are.  

Final thought: Without control, a fire can cause irreparable damage. But when it is under control, it can do plenty of good. Calmness is the controlled inner environment that helps our strongest emotions prove useful for tremendous progress. Apply these habits consistently, and you will experience greater calmness. 

Keep on keeping on