No legacy is so rich as honesty – William Shakespeare.
Honesty is still the best Policy
Writing this post was hard because it required taking a hard look at myself and being vulnerable enough to see areas where things didn’t go well. Being honest with ourselves is difficult because unmasking exposes us to the truth. Lying to ourselves may appear as the path of least resistance, but over time, the lies compound, and we are left with a false impression of ourselves, which lowers our quality of life. We cage ourselves in self-deception thinking we are doing better than we really are. Self-awareness, which comes through honesty, is vital to growth.
This year, there are some things that didn’t go well, and I’ve discovered that by shining the light of honesty on them, I can make the necessary adjustments for much-desired growth.
Self-awareness, which comes through honesty, is vital to growth.
Writing
I started the year with the plan to write a blog series each month. While the plan was good, and I accomplished it, part of the plan was using the first week of each month to write the blog series and use the next three weeks to research and prepare for the next month. This plan didn’t work. Procrastination won, and I found myself writing my blog posts on the week I planned to publish. While I completed the assignment each week, I believe writing ahead of time would have made my posts better. Procrastination was my biggest enemy in my writing this year.
In digging more into procrastination, I learned that it is not just about putting stuff off or delaying the inevitable, which in my case was publishing a blog every week, but it’s also understanding the reason or the root of the procrastination. An article in the New York Times captured this root perfectly:
The particular nature of our aversion depends on the given task or situation. It may be due to something inherently unpleasant about the task itself — having to clean a dirty bathroom or organizing a long, boring spreadsheet for your boss. But it might also result from deeper feelings related to the task, such as self-doubt, low self-esteem, anxiety or insecurity. Staring at a blank document, you might be thinking, I’m not smart enough to write this. Even if I am, what will people think of it? Writing is so hard. What if I do a bad job?
These same questions circled my mind like hawks, and at times, held me captive. The self-doubt and even low-self esteem kept me from the one rule I remind myself of when I stare at the blank page every week, “Just start.” My goal is to return to my writing plan at the onset of the new year.
Working out
My plan this year was to exercise every day each week with a minimum of three days a week. My monthly report tells a different story and not a very good one. The sporadic nature of my work-outs was the only consistent thing I could find. What made my workouts consistent before? Part of my morning was dedicated to exercising when I was consistent. Each time I postponed exercising to the end of the day, it never happened. I went off schedule, and I paid the price for it. I’m an early riser, and my routine needs to include working out. It’s the only way to dig out of the hole of inconsistency. To see the result of any activity or habit, consistency is key. Where there’s no consistency, there is no development. Exercising is key because its returns are beneficial in every area of life. It’s an area I plan to improve.
Relationships
I spent time on my phone, which I could have used on my family, especially at home. One awakening incident comes to mind. Our daughters, Esther and Priscilla, were playing on the floor in our living room while I was on the couch using my phone. After a few minutes, Esther asked, “Daddy! Are you going to come and play with us or just be on your phone the whole time?” Her question hit me like a ton of bricks. To this day, I don’t recall what I was doing on my phone, but I remember her words. I put down my phone, got on the carpet, and had the best evening playing with my children. That memory lingers not only because of the moment we shared but also as a reminder that being present with those around us is the most important relationship-building tool.
Being present with those around us is the most important relationship-building tool.
Final Thought: Can you be honest enough to reveal what didn’t go well this year? Without honesty, we are stuck in a vicious cycle of self-deception and with it little to no growth. To make improvements, we not only celebrate what went well but also introspectively look at what didn’t with the aim of uncovering the root, eliminating it, and making room for growth.
Keep on keeping on.
Notes
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/25/smarter-living/why-you-procrastinate-it-has-nothing-to-do-with-self-control.html. Accessed on 12/11/2023.
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