The Half-Way Conference: Don’t Settle for Average

Never settle for average – Steve Jobs

Close to Half-Way

July 1st marks the official start of the second half of the year. In reflection, there are three accomplishments I can point to:

1. Attending church with my family on Sundays
2. Teaching our daughters to ride their bicycles
3. Having dinner with my family daily. 

Do you have a few things you can mention as accomplishments? Most people look for big things but, the simple things are worth mentioning. Don’t despise small goals, for they are catalysts to reaching the big ones. No accomplishment is small unless we fall into the comparison trap. 

Don’t despise small goals, for they are catalysts to reaching the big ones.

Beware of the Compare

The social media-infused world makes it difficult to escape but not impossible to overcome this trap. A few years ago, my friend Samson devised a list of 7 deadly habits that will kill your growth. One of the habits on this list is the comparison trap. Here is a brief caption about comparison from his list:

None of us are born with a comparison gene. It is a habit we pick up and gets reinforced at an early age. Babies, before they can understand the rules of society, don’t care about what other babies are doing or look like. What they care about are their needs to be met. But then something changes when they start learning the reward systems set up by society. They start to see who gets complimented for their toys, dress, or looks, and soon they begin to copy. Soon, this behavior of copying and pasting gets wired in us. Eventually, it becomes difficult to break. And as adults, the habit of comparison is further perpetuated by social media.

Comparing ourselves to others makes us set standards based on others. This hinders growth.

First, when your standard is others, it limits you from becoming better than you were yesterday, which is how you develop excellence. 

Second, it prevents you from reaching greater heights and breaking your limitations.  Every great athlete, the likes of Eliud Kipchoge, the greatest marathoner, or Usain Bolt, the greatest sprinter, understand one important concept; they don’t compete against everyone else, they compete against their last best self. Focusing on personal growth takes you to greater heights and breaks limitations. 

Third, comparing yourself to others kills creativity. How do we overcome this habit? Understanding that you are a unique individual; with a unique set of strengths and challenges, with a distinctive background, and live a very different life than everyone else around you is important in combating comparison. Possessing this thought will help you focus on your strengths rather than other people’s strengths while remaining humble and respectful. It will also enable you to remain optimistic because you will know that there are opportunities in life that will require your unique set of strengths.  Not setting your standards based on others, always aiming for greater heights, and remaining creative will also help you to avoid the second hindrance.

Overcoming the comparison trap is foundational to living a life above average. When you choose to live free from comparison, your personal growth journey leads to a life of significance and excellence, all ingredients to an above-average. What does it mean to live above average and not settle for average?

Overcoming the comparison trap is foundational to living a life above average.

This month

In addition to side-stepping the comparison trap, the following guideposts will serve as markers for this year’s Halfway Point Conference:

1. The Essentials of Above Average Living (June 8)

2. How Above Average Living Affects Others (June 15)

3. Rising Above Mediocrity (June 22)

4. Throwback Blog (June 29)

Leadership expert John Maxwell points out that the gap between being ordinary (average) and extraordinary (above average) is smaller than you think. He makes this bold statement, 

“If Ordinary People …
Gave a Little Extra Effort,
Spent a Little Extra Time,
Sought a Little Extra Help …
They Would Become Extraordinary!”

John Maxwell

Final thought: No one wants to be described as average. Living above average is within your reach. At the base of an above-average life is avoiding the subtle yet dangerous comparison trap. As you reflect on the first half of the year, count your accomplishments, no matter how small. As you count them, you’ll notice that against the narrative that you are not doing as much as others, what you have accomplished is worth celebrating and using as building blocks for greater feats ahead. Don’t settle for an average life!

Keep on Keeping on!

Notes

The distance between ordinary & extraordinary is shorter than you think!